I “volunteered” at the elementary school yesterday. And volunteer is in quotes because is it really volunteering if the school requires so many “volunteer” hours from the parents and then send you threatening official letters about how your children will not be welcomed back next school year if you don’t hit the required hours? Oh, it is? Then yesterday I volunteered at my kindergartner’s school, “the little school with the big heart,” for the first time.
I was a jumpy mass of nerves a little anxious before the big day.
I mean, I’ve only gotten two of those you-better-volunteer letters. Hmmmm, I should find out the record of
letters sent to one family and try to beat it.
I still feel a little bit of guilt over being the “never involved, busy with the other child, working mom” for most of this first school year.
And for the previous two days, my son’s gotten in trouble for being a boy. The first day he was totally in the wrong and was reprimanded by both the Hubs and I for making a bad choice. The second incident is probably more my fault than his, since I am a Ninja and he is my student. Pork Chop, during a (unauthorized by his Master–me) training exercise, got up from his table because he was done with his work, and bored, crept around his classroom. He claims he needed to go to the potty and got permission but insists that I don’t need to ask his teacher why he got in trouble for it because he might have asked to go to the bathroom on a different day and remembers it wrong, in his words. According to the note that was sent home, he “was sneaking around the class as if I couldn’t see him.” Ahh, the impatience of youth. One day, young grasshopper, you will be as invisible as your Master. Until then, all training must be supervised by me.
So, of course it was the perfect time to go volunteer in his class.
I got there and the teacher was reading a story. Pork Chop was in the back of the circle. It broke my heart when he noticed me looking at his name on the behavior chart and the tears welled up in his eyes. He got dinged for talking right before I arrived.
When his teacher was finished reading she handed me a bunch of construction paper and templates to use to cut out pieces for a class project. The kindergarten building is impressively designed with function in mind. There is a huge square room that is filled with teaching supplies, where the parents work. Each kindergarten class shares a partitioned “wall” with the supply area so each class can be heard while the parents are working without their presence actually being a distraction.
There was one other parent in the room. She was one of those stay at home moms that always look so well put together whether they are volunteering or just dropping off the kids. Thank goodness I actually dusted Bare Minerals on my face and put on lip gloss.
It was hard to see her around the stacks of boxes and supplies and I was still feeling a little anxiety about being the “new SAHM mom” on the block so after a friendly hello, I focused on painstakingly cutting out Presidents Lincoln and Washington’s faces from the construction paper.
She clearly knew her way around the school and the supply room. After an hour of working silently, she suddenly said, “you look very familiar to me” and we started to talk. She has two children in the school and knows her way around because she has a third-grader who’s been here since kindergarten. She also worked with me at my old job over ten years ago and was a former employee/friend of one of my cousins. (Please note: Once I actually looked at her I remembered her and realized that she isn’t just a well put together mom. She, along with my cousin, were blessed with the always look great gene and were always presentable long before any of us had children.)
Small world. (Ok, it isn’t so small when you remember I have a LARGE family that mostly live in this area. Read about it here.)
Volunteering at the elementary school ended up being a pleasant alternative to folding the mountain of laundry I have waiting for me. I always wanted to spend more time at the school while I was working but had to use my vacation time to bring Pea to the doctor or to take care of her during her flares. Being a part of Pork Chop’s school life was one of the factors that led me to decide to become a SAHM so volunteering was not something I was avoiding.
However, the more letters or reminders I get to do something the more reluctant I am to do it. Kind of like my kids, when I nag at them to clean their rooms!
Do you have anxiety when it comes to doing child related volunteering or meeting new moms? I don’t really get nervous at all when meeting new people or doing things for work etc but when it comes to things that can potentially affect my kid or how I am viewed as a parent I always get a little anxious. Maybe it is a fear of being judged as a mother? I don’t know why it bothers me so much because the fact of the matter is that someone will always be judging me as a mother.
Linking up with Greta for #Ippp
Jodee Weiland says
Sounds to me like you’re a great mom…sensitive, loving, caring, understanding, and more! I taught for many years, and I always said the most important thing is that you love your children and act accordingly. Sounds like you do that, so stop worrying about what others think. What’s most important is your perception of the truth! Great post…I enjoyed reading it!
Jodee Weiland recently posted…Delicious Cinnamon Cream Cheese Brownies
Herchel says
Thank you Jodee! It’s weird that I get more anxiety about how I parent than anything else in my life! I do my best each day to do what’s best for them 🙂
Sara R @ Under the Sun says
Thanks for stopping by the Pintastic Party and contributing your article!
Rabia @TheLiebers says
I love volunteering in my daughter’s class. Her friends all know me and they get so excited to see parents coming in. Plus, her teacher really encourages parental involvement. My middle son’s class is different though. His teacher has never invited parents into the classroom that I know of. Plus, when I go into his room he becomes completely magnetized to me and neither of us can get anything done that way.
Rabia @TheLiebers recently posted…BestSkinsEver iPhone Protection {Review}
Gracielle says
YES! I was just thinking that the other day when I was at my daughter’s school for their fun fair (fundraiser event). I get total anxiety when it comes to meeting other parents. I’m shy and awkward, I get fidgety and I sweat. I don’t know why. I can kill it in the workplace, but when it comes to this…uggghhhh. I dread it. My neighbor (who is also my husband’s cousin) goes out of her way to volunteer and attend all the PTA events just so she can meet and mingle with other parents. I get over it after meeting and talking to someone 2 or 3 times.
Gracielle recently posted…I Married the “Just Because” Kinda Guy
Herchel says
I totally hide behind my kids during school functions like the fall festival. I am so “focused” on them that I am not able to mingle with the other parents. I break out in a cold sweat!
Karen @TheMissingNiche says
I volunteer at the school as much as possible because I love being with the kids. I was recently informed by my 8-year-old that I was the #2 room Mom. Ben’s mom holds the #1 spot because she brings homemade treats each time she comes in. I was told that to become #1 I should bring McDonald’s for the entire class each time I come in. I have no problem being #2, but apparently my son does…
Karen @TheMissingNiche recently posted…Beyond Body Image
Herchel says
McDonald’s for everyone! Somehow I don’t think his teacher would like it. I don’t think I will get to #1 but I do love listening to them learn.
Angela@JumpingW/MyFingersCrossed says
I’m not a very active volunteer at my kids’ schools either. I show up when I can and/or when the kids make a special request that I be at a class party or field trip. I hate the judging other moms do, it just stinks. I wish we would all just accept that we are doing the best we can where we can. I’m glad you ended up having a pleasant experience. You are right it always beats a giant laundry pile. 🙂
Angela@JumpingW/MyFingersCrossed recently posted…Tough Times & What I Know For Sure
Herchel says
Right, I don’t think that many moms say to themselves, “I am going to be uninvolved in my kid’s education.” It is more that the parent has to priority their time and their energy on what is best for their family’s situation.
Jhanis says
At my son’s school, parents are not even allowed to go inside the campus unless if you have a meeting with the principal/teacher and there’s a school activity.
My son does the same thing! His teacher would tell me that he would look for reasons to get up and roam around the classroom. AND he seems to have taken the title of class clown and makes his classmates laugh at the most inappropriate times. Ugh!
Jhanis recently posted…Crème Caramel (Leche Flan) Recipe
Herchel says
My son is definitely a clown too. They would have fun together lol.
Greta says
Your kids are so stinking cute. I volunteer a lot in the preschool class (like, once a week), and sometimes, yeah…I wish I could do other things. But when I go, I get to help with the centers in their class and actually interact with the kids, so it always ends up being a lot of fun! What doesn’t sound like fun is getting notes about how little you’re doing though. That stinks. I doubt many people skip the volunteering because they don’t really “feel like it.”
Greta recently posted…Through the Lens Thursday: Window
Herchel says
Thank you Greta! I love going to the preschool (where my kids went to daycare for years) and helping but it is a smaller environment and I am very comfortable there. The elementary school is just a whole new world to me lol. I imagine I will get used to it too. In reality, I knew about the volunteer requirement before my son got into the school (it’s a magnet school–kind of–with a lottery system.) Life just happens. The letters are pretty ridiculous though.