10 reasons I’m glad I had my kids in my 30s

The hubs and I are planners. We got married and did not feel that the conditions were “right” to start a family.   But…I really wanted to have a baby right away. For some reason I was totally against having kids in my 30s.  My mother had me when she was very young.  I felt the pressure of social expectations regarding marriage and having children right away.

Yet the years went by…We waited so long that my Dad offered to pay us to give him grandchildren!

As a girl, my dreams of being a mother featured a young (and thirty is not young to a girl!) me cradling my newborn.  I wanted a baby right away.  Instead I got a puppy, my first baby, (and I miss him every day).

A couple of years went by and I decided I wanted to have my first child by 25. Tyson, my black lab baby was now about six.  We argued about not being financially stable yet…and so Hubs got me another puppy.

Then one day, despite our planning, I went to the doctor and found out I had the flu…and was pregnant.  Surprise!

God told us when the time was right.  Still…I really, really wanted a baby in my 20s, so Pork Chop was born three weeks early…12 days before I turned the big 3 0.

And all I can say now is, “Thank goodness I am raising my kids while I am in my 30s.”

Ten reasons I am glad we had our babies in our 30s

1) We were not financially there.

He was right.  We were struggling and barely making it from paycheck to paycheck for most of our first six years of marriage.   By the time we were more secure, we had a baby and became poor again…

2) We bought our own home right before we turned thirty.

We cleaned up our credit and focused on settling down.  We moved into our own house a year before our first was born.  That gave us time to get adjusted to have a little less disposable income (houses and maintenance are expensive!) so that when the new burden of daycare became a fixture in our lives, we were used to tightening our belts.

3) We were more selfish in our 20s.

It’s a good thing we had dogs to teach us a little about responsibility and nurturing.

4) We were evolving as a partnership.

We still are; but in many ways we have changed controversial habits or adjusted them.  The habits that annoyed us in the first few years, we have either come to accept or have changed for the better.

5) We took time to enjoy our hobbies.

I had plenty of time to indulge in my crafting and hobbies.  My husband had time to play video games.   We went out and partied like other people in their twenties.  By the time we got pregnant, we had already started to stay home more and settle down.  I don’t feel like having kids is cramping my style or keeping me from having fun.  I have more fun with them now.

6) I learned some domestic skills while in my 20s.

I learned how to cook.  Then I had kids and learned that I didn’t have time to cook elaborate meals so I learned how to cook simpler…and faster

7) We had time to focus on our jobs/careers.

I was able to be flexible.  I worked late or weekends with little complaint.  Now not so much.  As a matter of fact, I ultimately decided that I didn’t have time for my job at all….(read about it here.)  My husband left the military and returned to school.  He spent months closeted in his office learning networking and IT stuff.   Most of it he was able to learn before the distraction of baby cries made it difficult.

8) We had great adventures during our seven years of pre-children marriage.

Our camping trips through Colorado, Bahamas cruise, train journey from Florida to Virginia, and camping trips in the Smokies would not have been the same with the Scrugglets.   Our vacations now involve princesses and Star Wars, and of course Mickey.  Now that they are older we can think about camping again but going camping as a newb is probably not a good idea with children.  We got lost in the mountains and I tried to walk up to a bear cub.  Two incidents that I am happy happened before I had kids with me everywhere I went.

9) I am no longer in the we-are-young-and-immortal decade and can feel the time that has passed and the time that is passing swirling around me, there are some things that I have let go.

One of those is competing against others.  I compete against myself, sure.  I always want to be the best version of me that I can.  However, I don’t think about silly things like the Mommy Wars or whether working at home is better than outside of the home.  I am old enough to know that what is best for one family is not the best for every family.

10)  I want to be and eat healthier for the right reasons!

In my early 20s, I didn’t care what I ate because I weighed barely 100lbs my whole life up to that point.  In my mid to late 20s, I slowly gained weight and spent money, time, and energy fighting to get back to my old weight due to vanity.  Now I want to be healthier and more physically fit so that I stick around longer for my kids.  I also want to be able to keep up with the little squirmy boogers.

A decade makes a big difference.   For years, I have secretly regretted having my kids later in my life.  I know it will be difficult for me to have the two more that I want (yes, I am crazy). While I don’t judge couples that started families earlier in life than we did, I’ve learned to be happy with the choices we have made.