Steps towards healing after Pregnancy Loss
From June through August, I was a woman on fire. My workouts were showing results. I consistently worked out…a miracle. I followed my clean eating plan religiously. I even won a workout challenge giveaway due to my progress and dedication. I looked great and felt great. I achieved my goal of being healthier and fit before a family vacation at the end of August.
Then life happened…
And I hit the bottom of the pit and sat shell shocked for a bit. It was a while before I was able to get up and face the world again. I like to the think I was merely sad for a time rather than depressed. There is a stigma attached to depression that makes me reluctant to admit that I was there for a couple of weeks.
I eventually had to make the choice to shake the funk. (This was much easier said than done and I am sure I haven’t completely shaken it yet.)
Let go of the extra weight
Some things are difficult to speak of face to face but still need to be set free. For some this release is through music, others through art, yet others find solace in their confidantes. For me, I was able to release the weight by writing first about how my children were told of the pregnancy loss, the the pain of the loss, and my return to writing.
Reevaluate your life’s direction and goals
Traumatic events, or even bouts of depression, are opportunities to evaluate the direction your life has taken. It is a time to revisit what it is that makes you happy and to adjust or even change your life’s direction. Taking care of my children and connecting with other people is what makes me happy so my blog was reborn.
Occupy your mind
I get through the tough days or the tough sleepless nights after both kids are asleep by keeping my mind busy. I read more books. I think about current events. I even got on Textbroker.com and wrote a few articles about subjects I know nothing about to keep me busy. I essentially assigned myself busy work that had nothing to do with my profession.
I thought about the last time that all was “right” in my world and decided to start back there. For me, that time was during our family trip to Disney World right before the pregnancy and subsequent miscarriage occurred.
I took a spontaneous day trip to Disney’s Animal Kingdom with a friend and our kids. It was a closing of a circle and the happy day worked wonders at getting my heart closer to contentment. And what better reminder is there that there is a “Circle of Life” than to stare at the Tree of Life and pick out the various carved animals with your children?
A return to the normal routine
For me this means waking up early and running or lifting weights. It is not easy to jump back on the bandwagon. I remind myself that I love the soreness after a good workout. It is a physical reminder that I am getting stronger. It is difficult fitting workouts into an already jam packed day but I have done it before and was better for it.
Fake it until you make it
So until it is 100% real, I plan on doing what I always tell the reps that I manage. Fake it until you make it. In this context, I believe that if you live a lie long enough, it will eventually become reality. I smile and laugh, sometimes it is forced but more and more lately the laugh that bubbles out is real. There is life after miscarriage.
I can do it.
This is actually hanging up in my office. I love it and I wish I had blue coveralls and a red bandana. I would rock them to work EVERY SINGLE DAY.