Sometimes Dads have to go away for work and Moms have to be physically single mommies. Maybe he is in the military, is a defense contractor, is a field sales representative, or has to work in another city. If your husband goes through stretches of time when is far away from his family, then it is best to ease his reentry into the family dynamic–for his sake of course. Trust me, I’ve had lots of practice with this!
Here are a few tips on re-acclimating him to “normal” life
At the airport, do not restrain your children at all.
Allow them to scream, jump up and down, and hug daddy as hard as they want for as long as they want.
Do not shush or reprimand them. Let them roam unfettered by his side. Smile as their little hands explore all of his luggage and grab at his clothes.
Do not–I repeat do not–intervene when they fight over who gets to sit next to him.
Don’t shush them even when they haven’t stopped talking to him for six hours straight.
Let them camp outside of the locked bathroom door while he is using the bathroom. Do not stop them from talking through the crack under the door at him. As a matter of fact, if you have a megaphone or the annoying voice changer thing with no volume control that he got them for Christmas last year, bring it to them.
Let Daddy experience his angels in their full glory until he says, “Oh my God. How do you do this every.single.day? Do they ever stop talking?”
Only after he has witnessed the love and exhaustion that you get to enjoy every second he is gone and looked at you with appreciation shining in his eyes can you resume your daily attempts at corralling the kiddos. (My husband is pretty quick. It only took him a couple of hours to realize that taking care of his two little clones is no easy feat.)
Being the parent that is away is lonely and difficult. However, being the parent that is home can be just as lonely and difficult. Sometimes, it’s good to subtly remind your spouse.
I am by no means minimizing the sacrifices of the men and women who are separated from their loved ones. I salute all the military families, contractor’s families, and commuter couples out there. Doing what you need to do to provide a good life for your family can take a toll on husbands, wives, and children. We get through those tough times by laughing together and having fun as a family when we can.
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Kristina and Millie says
Brilliant and so true! When hubby would return from a deployment or just a long training trip I usually would head out to do some shopping and let him just enjoy the kids for a few hours all by himself. Worked for me 🙂
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Herchel says
I need to try that next time 🙂
AwesomelyOZ says
It must be tough to be put in these situations – I am sure the kids definitely rejoice in seeing their other parent finally return. Hopefully your hubby gets to stay for a long while 😉 have a great one Herchel! -Iva
AwesomelyOZ recently posted…GTFO: The Elaborate Rituals of A Muslim Wedding
Kat @ iHeart7.com says
My husband works offshore (oilfield drilling rig) and is “normally” on a 28-day rotation (home 28 days/offshore 28 days) but since November of last year, he’s been gone 35+ days and home no more than 20 days at a time… He’s been doing this for over 5 years now but it never gets easier, leaving or coming home. We do things a certain way when he’s not here and when he comes home, it’s SO hard to work him back into our schedule… but of course, as soon as we get used to him being home, it’s time to see him off again. It’s rough… I think this is cute 🙂 My husband is normally awake for nearly a full 24 hours by the time he gets home though so I do usually tone them down just a bit for his sake 😉
Herchel says
Lol you are nicer than I am! My husband is awake for 24 hours traveling home too.
When he was in the navy we were on a 90 day on 90 day off cycle and that was hard.
I am so glad that I am not the only one whose entire routine is thrown off when the hubs is home. We’ve been doing this for three years but this is the first year I’ve been a sahm. The routine didn’t get as bungled when I worked outside the home though.
Jill says
All great advice. I’ve had a lot of practice with this and there are some tips in here I’d never thought of!
Jill recently posted…Damn You Pinterest – One Mom’s Take on Birthday Parties
Herchel says
Do you have any tips with helping little boys adjust after Daddy leaves 🙁 I’ve had lots of practice with that too but it seems to get harder as my son gets older!
Ana Lynn says
My ex husband often worked away from home. I wish I had your tips back then! Cute post though.
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Herchel says
Thank you 🙂 I don’t believe in stifling their exuberance but I did almost feel bad because he had just traveled 3,000 miles to get home 😉